Hello Heavenly, Living, and Damned souls! I am your guide Walt Disney! This is my first post ever, so please bear with me! In the old days, we would take souls who needed learn more about the inferno on their own individualized journeys through Hell, but due to recent budget cuts (most of our heavenly cash goes to creating new rings of the inferno for the ever growing numbers of sinners), we just no longer have the staffing or funds for personal tours. Steve Jobs, a recently moved-in resident to Limbo, suggested creating a blog where the demons and devils in charge of carrying out punishments in each ring could post about whatever is going on in their area of punishment. Watch for my comments after each post to clarify, as some demons are not very clear!
Oh, and if you were going on this journey the old-fashioned way, you would probably start out in the middle of a forest somewhere surrounded by ill-meaning creatures, but since everything is fully integrated online these days, you'll just have to use your imagination.
Imagine you are alone in dark scary forest. A fearsome porcupine approaches threateningly, as if to stick you with his quills and make you a living pin cushion.
Then a small sparrow flits in front of your face. At first it is cute, but soon it begins to twitter incessantly and scratch at your eyes.
Then, while you are in the depths of despair, a baboon swings down out of the trees making a huge amount of needless noise, it's face twisting into fearsome expressions of violence.
Just when you think you are done for, I arrive to save you and take you on the start of your journey.
Well, there you have it! We here at Eternal Pain and Punishment love comments! Let us know what you think!
Hey Walt, it's your old buddy Bryant! Actually, you wouldn't know me since I was just a lowly employee of your great enterprise, but I sure as heck know you! Who'd have thought that you, who were so famous in life, would become just another tour guide after death? Now you're doing the same job as those people who work at the information centers at Disney World and get paid minimum wage! Looks like someone up there does have a sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteI'll have you know, Bryant, that I was chosen because I am a neutral subject on social media since it was not a big issue in my day. Also, according to One up in heaven, "Walt Disney is awesome and has made more useful contributions to the world than almost anyone I know of. I love his movies, and Disney World is pretty much the best." So there, Bryant! I bet not even your wife compliments you like that!
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