I AM MALESTOMBERG! HEAD OF TORTURE IN THE LAST RING OF THIS OF SOCIAL MEDIA HELL! Here I have been given the pleasure to torture, torment and inflict pain on every soul who abuse Facebook. All those who post their life story and how sad they are and all their issues and how much happier they are than you and how much prettier they are and how much fun they are having without you and what they want to do with their lives and what they think is funny and dumb and laughable and annoying post and post and post every 5 seconds!!!!And not to mention the administrators of those huge pages with all their posts about buying their product, or playing their games! Yes, all such sinners are sent here to the deepest and darkest ring of hell, where their faces are constantly smashed into a real life, paper and binding book.
Oh, how much fun it was to see the administrators of Zygna Poker having their faces smashed into real classic books such as
Pride and Prejudice and
Les Miserables (isn't Darcy just the most complicated guy ever? And when I watched the new movie they made of
Les Miserables I cried the entire time!) Anyway,
they scream and shout about the misery of actually spending their time doing something worthwhile and reading something that is lengthier than a Facebook post. Interestingly enough, they complain about the reading aspect of the torture even more than the extreme physical pain of having their faces constantly crushed. Ha!
Here's a quick pic of one a few of my personal
favorite sinners!
It's me, Walt! If this were an in-person tour, you could go speak to the Zygan Poker folk yourself, but since everything is on line now I'll just tell you a few things that condemned them. Zygna Poker is the reportedly most popular Facebook pace with 25,886, 703 fans and counting. The Admins of the page HAVE to post all the time to keep that many fans happy! Aside from the Zygna Poker admins, though, most people in this ring of hell are socially challenged teenagers, forty-year-olds that think they are teenagers, and strangely enough, grandmothers. Those are the most common social groups that abuse Facebook in the manner Malestromberg mentioned above.
ReplyDeleteHey! It's me Bell, you know, from Beauty and the Beast! I just have to say I absolutely LOVE this blog! Since I'm stuck up in heaven where absolutely nothing ever happens, reading this blog has given me something to look forward to everyday! Anyway, I just wanted to commend you, Malestromberg, for your excellant choice in literature! It seems no one appreciates the classics these days!!! How comforting to know there's someone else out there that understands! By the way, you're such a hunk! #youreabeast#ithinkiminlove
ReplyDeleteYo, this is Malestromberg writing, and girl, you remind me of a library book because I love checking you out.
Delete